The most beautiful square in Central Europe. Tycho Brahe is buried here — the astronomer with the metal nose. The 27 white crosses in the pavement mark where 27 noblemen were beheaded in 1621.

And the Astronomical Clock, working since 1410. We watch the hourly show. I tell you the legend of who built it, what happened to him, and why for 600 years people have whispered the clock is cursed.

Before we move on, we step into the tourist info centre on the square. You get a free city map. I take a pen and mark it for you — the restaurant where my own family eats, the pub where Czechs drink, the viewpoints worth your time, the neighbourhoods to wander. Your own personal Prague, in your pocket — for the rest of your stay.

Down Karlova Street — Prague's most beautiful medieval street, part of the historic Royal Route. Past the Klementinum and one of the most stunning Baroque libraries in the world.

Then onto Charles Bridge, built by Emperor Charles IV in 1357. Centuries of weddings, plagues, and wishes have crossed these stones. We find the bronze plaque of Saint John of Nepomuk, you place your hand, and you make a wish that's worked for centuries. And from the bridge — the postcard view: Prague Castle on the hill, the Vltava below.

Just past the bridge: one of the strangest corners of Prague.

Two bronze men by David Černý, relieving themselves into a pool shaped like the Czech Republic — hips moving, streams writing real Czech literary quotes. Above the entrance, his eleven-metre Kafka head, made of dozens of rotating mirror-polished steel layers.

Then Prague Venice — a hidden canal where wooden water mills still turn. And the narrowest street in Prague, with a real pedestrian traffic light, because two people cannot pass each other.

From the terrace at Strahov, the entire city opens up beneath you.

Red rooftops. The Vltava winding through the centre. Charles Bridge in the distance. The Castle just below. This is the view that postcards try to capture and never quite do. It's better in real life.

I'll show you exactly where to stand for the photo.

We sit down for lunch at the brewery the monks have been brewing in since 1142 — one of the oldest still-functioning breweries in Europe.

This is real Czech food the way Czechs actually eat it. Roasted pork knuckle so tender it falls off the bone. Goulash with bread dumplings. Hearty soups in bread bowls. And — only here — beer ice cream made by the monks themselves (non-alcoholic, and yes, locals drive across the city for it).

(Lunch is paid separately — card or cash.)

After lunch, we walk down through Hradčany — the historic noble quarter above the castle, where Czech aristocrats lived for centuries. Quiet squares, baroque palaces, hidden viewpoints.

Then into Prague Castle itself — the largest ancient castle complex in the world (Guinness Book of Records). Three courtyards. St. Vitus Cathedral on all four sides. The window President Václav Havel waved from after the Velvet Revolution. The spot where Czech crown jewels rest behind seven locks. The view that stops everyone, every time.